Dear Xara Stara #1
Dear Xara Stara
For the last decade I’ve been having an affair with an alien after our first encounter on May 12th 2016 around 12.00 AM. I’ll always remember that day I just came back from a night out and popped in my local kebab shop to finish off the night and I had sick in my hair from this random girl I met who I was snogging vomited all in my hair. Any hoo the thing is I’m not exactly single I’m married with two kids and things are getting quite risky as the last time my youngest son spotted neon green stains all on my clothes I mean I got a soaking that night but if it wasn’t because of him my wife wouldn’t be snooping all on my phone and going through my mail. I’m in love with my piece on the side but I love my wife and kids but she doesn’t know how to satisfy like my girl who may I add doesn’t look like a back end of a cow when she wakes up but I’m not all about the looks you know. I was thinking of letting them meet and have done with it but my wife can be a bit alienist towards them and their kind so I don’t think it’s best. I hate to admit it but my bit on the side is just eye candy and something a bit different from my other flava’s anyway five holes yes please. Please can you guide me down this difficult path do you think I should let them meet each other or should I call the whole thing off and stick to my main woman. Your help would be appreciated.
Randy
Xara Says
Dear Randy
Thank you for writing in with your problem I see you have caught what I call the alien love bug and you are looking for answers. First of all, Bernard Milleton from Southampton we got in touch with your wife and your right wow has she got a tongue on her and not just the throwdown she gave you. It amazes me on how many humans throw their lively hood away for some cheap tramp who would crush your balls with heel devices within a second. Rest assured your wife and two kids are getting the help they need and as for you should be carefully on how you throw your pecker to the wind but we do understand how seductive it can be but you sir is an addict and you need help urgently. As for your questions you must leave that evil soul and remain happy with your friends and family or face dire consequences which by the sound of it hasn’t happened yet but if you wait around, you’ll see how cold and soulless those xastards are like. I hope this is a wake-up call and serves as a warning to you and don’t worry your wife Shirley says no hard feelings your best friend Dave have been giving her extra curriculum when you said you were busy at the office so no hard feelings she said. I hope this clears things up and I wish you, your wife and kids all the best.
Xara Stara